i would like to thank a very good friend of mine who shared her views today. there are so many things that i would never ever realise, or at least never wanted to realise until today. guess being oblivious isnt the way out now.
it all started when a boy entered polytechnic in 2007. he wanted to have a good start by making friends and swore to god that he will be transparent. he did not want to be a hypocrite, all he wanted was to show his friends a true transparent side of him. he would share every views to his friends, be it good or bad, without thinking, but he never realised that being too straightforward in today's world is a BIG no-no. he got taken for granted and his friends view him as "show off", when the fact that he only wants other people to share his joy. he would want his friends to do the same and share their joy, and he would give them all his blessings. he wont feel jealous cos they are his friends, he want the best for their friends too, all of his friends!
initially, everything was cool and all smooth. he got to talk to his friends and his classmates. but "time" showed him true colours of those people. the first incident happened when he got backstabbed by his teammate in a particular project in his first semester. he did not mind what his friend did and brushed it aside. he thought, "maybe its my fault in the first place, and since it already happened, i shouldnt be bothered by it anymore." he spent the rest of the semester mingle with the rest of his friends, as if nothing bad has ever happened.
in life, nothing is smooth sailing and conflicts are bound to happen, which brings the naive boy to the second incident. at that point of time, he firmly believed that he could stand by his friends and mend their broken hearts. he gave advises where ever he could and he would go an extra mile for his classmates. there was once both of his "close" friends quarrelled over a XX. he tried his best to help, he did everything he could, he did more than any friend would have done. apparently he was taken for granted.
etc
etc
etc
etc
so much more happened in between time that he's tired/ cant be bothered to type them out. so much has happened along his half travelled journey along poly life.
he's tired of those hypocrites around him.
he's tired of being frank.
he's tired of wanting to be transparent.
he's tired of being to naive in this complicated world.
he's tired of seeing through those fake masks his friends are wearing.
he was often questioned "bro, we seem to be talking lesser and feel more distant now"
"u should hang out with us more".
he hesitated, he pondered.
"time" made him know his surroundings well now.
he knows his peers too well now to know what kinda people they are.
he regretted for opening up too much.
he regretted for trusting the wrong people too much.
he regretted for ignoring the right people.
he regretted for being too oblivious.
he regretted for blurting out things that he din mean them.
he doesnt hate the people around him, he just hates himself for being like a kid and being too naive. he hates the game but not the players.
he needs to grow up.
he needs to be mature.
he needs to approach people with care from now on.
he needs to stay low and quiet for a while now.
he needs to know what impression is he giving others.
he needs to portray good image to avoid being targetted.
he needs to pay more attention to his surroundings now.
dammit, what a world he is living in.
F**K
