Saturday, August 30, 2008

HELLO!!!

Lyrics : David Tan

Hello stupid & rescue?
Can you send somebody please?
Cos I can’t wait another minute
As my sunlight slips away

Hello , why can’t you help me?
You have something that I need
It comes somewhere from deep inside you
You just have to find the key

Time it has gone & time will tell
What everybody knows
Little do we know how to find
To let this feeling grow
Give it some time & we will see
What stupid does for me
Or I will find another way

Hello , someone’s in danger
He’s falling to the ground
You see its cos his wings are broken
There are people all around

Hello , why can’t you help him
You have something that he needs
It comes somewhere from deep inside you
You just have to find the key

Time it has gone & time will tell
What everybody knows
Little do we know how to find
To let this feeling grow
Give it some time & we will see
What stupid does for me
Or I will find another way...

You’re i'm so stupid

Monday, August 25, 2008

fix you.

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones,
And I will try to fix you,

High up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you



"the meaning of this song for me is the pain u feel when something goes wrong in somebody elses life who is close to you and u just wanna help but have no idea how to go about it."

Monday, July 21, 2008

just for you.

thank you for being there when i feel most helpless.
thank you for being there to listen to my woes and rants.
thank you for being so caring, esp my meals.
thank you for being so concerned abt my life.
thank you for everything u have done.
thank you for your pesistance.
thank you for your insistance.
thank you for standing beside me.
thank you for our "same frequency".
thank you for your shoulders.
thank you for giving me more than i deserve.
thank you for loving me every single moment.
thank you for missing me every single day.
thank you for your strength giving hugs.
thank you for your love assuring kisses.

my goal in life is the fulfil every single promise i made to u.
no matter how absurd some might sound, but im gonna do it.
mark my words.

<3



"Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself how much I let the fear
Take the wheel and steer
It's driven me before
And it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal
But lately I'm beginning to find that I
Should be the one behind the wheel

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes yeah

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
I'll be there

So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive
Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive?
It's driven me before
And it seems to be the way that everyone else gets around
But lately I'm beginning to find that
When I drive myself my light is found

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes yeah

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
I'll be there

Would you choose the water over wine
Hold the wheel and drive"

wake up call.

i would like to thank a very good friend of mine who shared her views today. there are so many things that i would never ever realise, or at least never wanted to realise until today. guess being oblivious isnt the way out now.

it all started when a boy entered polytechnic in 2007. he wanted to have a good start by making friends and swore to god that he will be transparent. he did not want to be a hypocrite, all he wanted was to show his friends a true transparent side of him. he would share every views to his friends, be it good or bad, without thinking, but he never realised that being too straightforward in today's world is a BIG no-no. he got taken for granted and his friends view him as "show off", when the fact that he only wants other people to share his joy. he would want his friends to do the same and share their joy, and he would give them all his blessings. he wont feel jealous cos they are his friends, he want the best for their friends too, all of his friends!

initially, everything was cool and all smooth. he got to talk to his friends and his classmates. but "time" showed him true colours of those people. the first incident happened when he got backstabbed by his teammate in a particular project in his first semester. he did not mind what his friend did and brushed it aside. he thought, "maybe its my fault in the first place, and since it already happened, i shouldnt be bothered by it anymore." he spent the rest of the semester mingle with the rest of his friends, as if nothing bad has ever happened.

in life, nothing is smooth sailing and conflicts are bound to happen, which brings the naive boy to the second incident. at that point of time, he firmly believed that he could stand by his friends and mend their broken hearts. he gave advises where ever he could and he would go an extra mile for his classmates. there was once both of his "close" friends quarrelled over a XX. he tried his best to help, he did everything he could, he did more than any friend would have done. apparently he was taken for granted.
etc
etc
etc
etc

so much more happened in between time that he's tired/ cant be bothered to type them out. so much has happened along his half travelled journey along poly life.

he's tired of those hypocrites around him.
he's tired of being frank.
he's tired of wanting to be transparent.
he's tired of being to naive in this complicated world.
he's tired of seeing through those fake masks his friends are wearing.

he was often questioned "bro, we seem to be talking lesser and feel more distant now"
"u should hang out with us more".
he hesitated, he pondered.
"time" made him know his surroundings well now.
he knows his peers too well now to know what kinda people they are.
he regretted for opening up too much.
he regretted for trusting the wrong people too much.
he regretted for ignoring the right people.
he regretted for being too oblivious.
he regretted for blurting out things that he din mean them.

he doesnt hate the people around him, he just hates himself for being like a kid and being too naive. he hates the game but not the players.

he needs to grow up.
he needs to be mature.
he needs to approach people with care from now on.
he needs to stay low and quiet for a while now.
he needs to know what impression is he giving others.
he needs to portray good image to avoid being targetted.
he needs to pay more attention to his surroundings now.

dammit, what a world he is living in.
F**K

Sunday, July 13, 2008

urge.

an urge to blog, an urge to let everything out.
i feel so lost; insecure without u around.
everything just looks empty.
u make every problem of mine seems so small,
while u became the focus of my mind.
i found myself revolving around u now.

everywhere i go, everything thing i do makes me think of you.

the elmo in the closet, the chocolates on my table, the candles on the floor, the sparklers left on the com, the spoilt lighters in my bag, the bottle which says about my tomorrow, the bottle which contains the chain, the folder which has meanings in it, the words inside the folder, the armani white for him, the pink bottle of sunsilk, the car keys and the cow woven key chain, the XLXL with ure face in it, the hoodie on my bed which smells of u, the mng bag by the bed, the puma watch on the chair....

these are what i face with every turn i took in my room.
every part of my room reminds me of u.

i know its not going to be easy
i know there's alot for us to face.
im willing to bear them all,
and take them in our stride.
a hasty journey we had so far,
we went through so much.
i never felt exhausted,
u had me moving forward.
i thank you for coming into my life,
and setting everything right.




"I'm lost without you
Can't help myself
How does it feel?
To know that I love ya baby
I'm lost without you
Can't help myself
How does it feel?
To know that I love ya baby

Tell me how you love me more
And how you think I'm sexy baby
But you don't want nobody else
You don't want this guy
You don't want that guy
You wanna touch yourself when you see me
Tell me how you love my body
And how I make you feel baby
You wanna roll with me
You wanna to hold with me
You wanna stay warm and get out of the cold with me
I just love to hear you say it
It makes a man feel good baby
Tell me you depend on me
I need to here it

I'm lost without you
Can't help myself
How does it feel?
To know that I love ya baby
I'm lost without you
Can't help myself
How does it feel?
To know that I love ya baby

Baby your the perfect shape
Baby your the perfect weight
Treat me like my birthday
I want it this way
I want it that way
I want it
Tell me you don't want me to stop
Tell me it would break your heart
But you love me and all my dirty
You wanna roll with me
You wanna to hold with me
You want to make fires and get norwegian wood with me
I just love to hear you say it
It makes a man feel good baby

I'm lost without you
Can't help myself
How does it feel?
To know that I love ya baby
I'm lost without you
Can't help myself
How does it feel?
To know that I love ya baby

Cause you will tell me every morning
oooohhh aww yeah baby
ooooh yeah
oh baby
oh darlin
all right right

I'm lost without you
Can't help myself
How does it feel?
To know that I love ya baby
I'm lost without you
Can't help myself
How does it feel?
To know that I love ya baby"

Friday, July 11, 2008

random.

sch's making me really busy!
well, it could be a good thing and a bad thing.

good thing : i get to have more time in bb =] i get to spend more time with people i want in school. i get to gossip about other people. i get to eat more of sch food which is cheaper. i get to do work [might be a bad thing]

bad thing : i get to reach home real late almost every night. i get to do work, other ppl's work =[

okay. enough of ranting.



life's been really good for the past 5/6 weeks.
trey is blessed. <3
i should go do more good deeds to keep this going =]

moreover, i get to pick myself up from all the mess left behind from the CTs.
cleared all of the re-tests, counselling, private talks etc.
next up! pull up my socks and suck my thumbs for another month, till the term tests come.
=]

time's passing real fast and i find it hard to catch up.
too many things are happening at the same time, till the extend that i just dunno wad to blog about right now.

anw, the hse's being "renovated" AGAIN!
well, not really renovated, but just adding SOME wooden planks.
=X

Monday, July 7, 2008

my shoulder's are yours.

when i saw your teary eyes, i...

... i was worried...
... really worried...
... was in a state of loss...
... dun know what can i save u from...



when you were crying on my shoulders...

... my shirt was wet...
... my heart sank...
... i felt weak...
... i felt like crying too...



all i could to was to...

... stroke your back...
... hug you tight...
... kiss your cheek...
... whisper "its alright."...

the World is on my shoulders

i guess i've been oblivious for way too long, so long that i began to panick when i "woke up" and noticed the things happening around me.

the fact that im being referred as a rich playboy really REALLY affected me alot ALOT! esp from.... raahhhH!!!
=[
do i really look like that?
=[

the price of petrol increased noticably recently and we ought to cut down on fuel. i realised that i've spent way WAY too much on petrol since i had the license. $10+ of fuel PER DAY for the month of may is not healthy. means i used 5 litres of petrol daily, which equates up to 60km of distance travelled per day. WOW! although daddy forgave me regarding by saying, " if i were u i would have done the same thing, isnt a surprise a new driver to be thrilled to drive", im felt really guilty abt that. total petrol cost for that month was near 300. -_-!
have to watch how i drive, gotta switch gears before 3k rpm and drive within the speed limit.
(i admit i have been speeding and dragging those gears)

another issue is regarding money (again).
seems like jie spent more than she should for the month and daddy's really worried. spending more than she can earn is SERIOUSLY BAD.( i cant think of a better word to use). okay. the main point here is she brushed off daddy when he probed at the issue =[ i wish jie could sit down and have a gd talk wif him.

projs and studies have been a pressing issue. the fact that i was SO distracted for CTs gt me counselling sessions, private talks with lecturers and friends, remedials etc etc, u know the rest. raaahhhh!! feeling stressed is a problem. i promised myself to work hard. but now what? im here blogging and wasting precious revision time away. =[ i must MUST work a million times harder and not disappoint mummy any further, else i will be jeopardizing my r/s. 2 conditions for it, no late nightouts and maintain my academics.

mummy's been really concerned about my late nightouts due to BB. reaching hm at 12mn on mondays and wednesdays really pissed her off. additional nights due to rehearsals and perfs are catalysts for her to blow her top off. i wish i could come home sooner. like lastest 10 plus?? seems impossible but.... we'll see how. the worst that can happen is.. ermm... u all can prolly guess. the condition to stay in BB is.... results again.

so in short, studies link to everything.
BB
r/s
late nightouts
finance
etc.

none the less,
priority is always FAMILY, then studies.

=]

<3